Joke and Jokes: Humor: Multiple Spam Controls

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Good Morning, friend ! Today is Friday, January 25. Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Have FUN! DearWebby
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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to take root in the world is for enough good men to do nothing. --- Edmund Burke
After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank goodness," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
>From Nan My husband seems to feel one should get their money's worth on vacation. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to frolic every minute or not. But once when I was sitting in a beach chair on the sand, he came out of the surf and said, "This is costing us $300 a day - and you sit there reading a book!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Bryan Wendler, 30, Marathon County, Wisconsin Wearing "Breathalyzer" T-Shirt while Arrested Sixth Time For Drunk Driving Reported by The Weekly Vice The 30-year-old drunk was arrested early Saturday morning for drunk driving after he was found passed out at the wheel of a Chevrolet Cavalier that was parked with its engine running in the middle of a Wisconsin road. Wendler, who reeked of intoxicants, failed a series of field sobriety tests and appeared "dazed and confused," according to a Marathon County Sheriff's Department report, which noted that a deputy spotted an unopened six-pack of beer on the vehicle's passenger seat. A breath sample recorded Wendler's blood alcohol content as .19, more than twice the legal limit. As a result, he was charged with operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated- -the sixth time he has been busted for drunk driving. Wendler's extensive DWI history, of course, makes his t-shirt choice a strange one. Along with the DWI count, Wendler, who is locked up in the county jail, faces a probation violation rap and a driving with a revoked license charge. He is scheduled for a preliminary hearing on January 30. The link to Mail Washer is here!
Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Multiple Spam Controls Dear Webby First, kudos to your forever refreshing Humor Letter. Your willingness to help with technical advice is more valuable than you can imagine to folks who need help and don't know where where to turn. I see many people raving about Mail Washer. I have Norton installed on my computer, which already has a spam filter. Can I use them both without any problem? Thanks, Webby! You're the best! Helen Dear Helen It's best to use just one spam control program at a time. As long as Norton takes care of the spam well enough, use that. When it gets overwhelmed and can't quite cope with it any more, then turn it's spam control off and get MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Rubber Glove Finger To Protect Bandages I cut my finger at work the other day and when we finally got it bandaged I wanted it protected from germs. I am in Nursing so we come in contact with lots of germs every day and I wash my hands multiple times. I got a rubber glove, cut off one finger of it and fit it over my bandaged finger. I then put tape all the way around the bottom of it to keep water and germs from getting in it. This works great for me but I do not recommend you keep it on more than 8 hours at a time. I changed mine when I got home and just left the band-aid on it. You don't want it to get infected and the best thing for a cut is air. So if you find yourself in a germ infested environment and need to protect a cut or wound that a glove finger will cover I highly recommend using my method. Years ago they had "finger cots" that served the same purpose. They are hard to find today. By Gem from VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hour, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk, than to realize that you're stupid.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked gently on the door. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked politely. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly. "Could I just have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" by this time she was fairly shouting. The vagabond said, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently. "D'ye suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?" » Hot Stuff

Today, Jan 25, in 1327 King Edward III accedes to British throne 1348 Earthquake destroys Villach, Austria, killing 5,000 1533 England's King Henry VIII marries Anne Boleyn 1721 Czar Peter the Great ends Russian-orthodox patriarchy 1775 Americans drag cannon up hill to fight British (Gun Hill Road, Bronx) 1799 1st US patent for a seeding machine, Eliakim Spooner 1802 Napoleon elected President of the Italian (Cisalpine) Republic 1856 Battle of Seattle; skirmish between settlers & Indians 1870 Soda fountain patented by Gustavus Dows 1875 Anti-slavery society formed in NY 1918 Russia declared a republic of Soviets 1946 Richard Strauss' "Metamorphosis" premieres in Zurich 1950 73ºF (23ºC) highest temperature ever recorded in Cleveland in January 1951 UN begins counter offensive in Korea 1955 Russia ends state of war with Germany 1955 US & Panamá sign canal treaty 1971 Military coup in Uganda under General Idi Amin Dada 1974 South African surgeon Christiaan Barnard transplanted the first human heart without removal of the old one 1981 52 Americans held hostage by Iran for 444 days arrived back in US 1981 Mao's widow Jiang Qing sentenced to death 1990 Former Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega is transferred to a Miami jail 1991 Manuel Noriega is given access to assets frozen by US government 1985 "We are the World" is recorded 2013 friend smiled

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